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Michelle L. Kuykendall
I am a mother of two and twice divorced. I have a will to survive, a knack for making things happen, and a love for life that never seems to die. I've looked in the mirror occasionally and wondered...voir plusI am a mother of two and twice divorced. I have a will to survive, a knack for making things happen, and a love for life that never seems to die. I've looked in the mirror occasionally and wondered where my drive comes from? Why, no matter how hard I fall, the stronger I get and why I am able to find the good in almost anything in my life.
After some soul searching and examining what I remember of my days as a child, I think that I understand why I am who I am. You see, growing up I was surrounded by people that never quit. People that never gave up, no matter what the obstacles. There was love, but it was always a very tough love. I was never allowed to say "I can't." I was told emphatically to "find a way."
Although there was an unconditional love and support of those around me, their was also a very direct order to never give up, to make the best of what you are given, and to make a way out of no way. Anything and everything is possible, but giving up was never an option.
Although I did not grow up in the house with my grandfather, I saw much of him in my father, his oldest son Mack. Many of the experiences which shaped my life, though not given to me directly from my grandfather, were experienced through my own father, his son, who was taught by the best.
The spirit of never giving up and making a way out of no way is mine now. It was given to me as a gift. Telling my father that I could not do something was never acceptable. I was made to find a way; to figure it out and I always did. The good and the bad, the fair and the unfair were dealt with accordingly. Growing up, I often felt that my father was unyielding and many times unfair, but he only made me stronger,
usually what doesn't kill us will do that for us, if we allow it to.
Understanding that everyone at some point must come to grips with the windmill of experiences that are placed before them; it is what we choose to make of those experiences, that ultimately determines who we become. We must decide whether these instances will become opportunities or obstacles. Often what we choose to do in those moments will determine the rest of our lives.
There will always be good and evil, blessings and curses set before us. It is how we embraces those experiences when they are presented that determines what life holds for us.
On our journey, many things will be given to us, as well as the many that will be taken. What is done with we have left, as well as what no longer remains can become our strengths or our weaknesses, the choice is our own.
Having the heart to wake up each day and say, "I will make things happen, and make my dreams come true in spite of anything else going on around me," is the constant that must remain. Our journey may leave us weary and often distraught, but we must never give up.
There have been great disappointments in my life, but I have found a way to turn them all into something wonderful. It has truly been a journey, one that I would not trade for the world, because even in darkness, often not knowing or understanding, I was equipped. I had everything that I needed all the time and we all do.
Through it all, what remains with me now is my peace and my will to survive.
I have been blessed with a daughter named Sydney Mitchell, who was born on my grandfather's birthday, October 5th-my gift to him. As it would only be expected, she embodies the same cantankerous, feisty spirit that could only be his. In pursuing her dreams she has ultimately graced the screen of several television shows and films after remaining determined to never give up on her dreams.
I also have a son named BJ Mitchell, who by the age of 12 had already graced the pages of JET magazine,as my father did, in an article about television's "Little Star's with Big Talent" he has since appeared on countless national commercials, television shows and films, all as a reward for his spirit of never giving up.
There also remains a family that has wrapped its arms around me every time that I have needed it. A mother, Saundra and brother, Michael who have been my backbone.
My fathers brother, my uncle Don Kuykendall, now Donkor Kahlid, who also embodied a spirit of never giving up, when he became one Oklahoma State University's first black baseball players in the history of the school and has lent his endless support in all of my endeavors. Also, friends that have remained close enough to catch me every time that I fell, yet stood far enough away to allow my growth.
There is truly much to be grateful for in the midst of it all. Remember, counting even the smallest blessings can fill you up and make you whole. Always give all that you have to give every day, in spite of what is going on around you.
Allow yourself to experience the good and the bad, the wins and the losses, and find a peaceful place in them all. Never looking down or back, simply always finding a way to continue moving forward and remembering "Rest if you must, but don't you quit!"
Lovingly,
The Author
Michelle Kuykendall
BA/Counseling and Human Behaviorvoir moins
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