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Imran Usman

A Deluded Idea of Me I am a weak person , the embedded part of my personality... have Hard time believing or unbelieving,,,,neither m I blessed with the gifts of common sense,, its not that i dont ...voir plusA Deluded Idea of Me I am a weak person , the embedded part of my personality... have Hard time believing or unbelieving,,,,neither m I blessed with the gifts of common sense,, its not that i dont like it, its just that i completely repel the idea,... i am just not contained in the fact that something can be so common as to be completely pure , i bask in the fact that..that minor possibility (which never/hardly occurs to a human insight) of something happening otherwise can actually happen, I live that possibility, that containment , maybe it gives me a reason to live or be something that others are not ... I happen to be a loser too, at first fate was in the limelight , apparently it came off so often I went out in search of other reasons and when I dint find any I kept it going , failure is a something i have always cherished,, not because I like failing in everthing i do ...its just that it companions the lonely part of me ,,throughly....completely * A glass full I say ! I am shattered to the core....I have broken .....at first i knew where & when but then I came to a place, where i stopped counting.... eitherway I dint prefer to be walking around in a whole, it seemed too perfect.. ....I always seem like a quitter ,,some believe so , and neither I deny it , but what i say to myself is a little different, you see I am a believer in the fact that it takes a Lifetime to become the Master of something or maybe more.... Life is short ... I prefer being a jack ...or perhaps jacks ....and not a 'MASTER'...*singular...( P. S. I got rejected once in an interview for using that line ,, the only interview i wanted to get through, it was my dream , yea! well a dream shattered right on your face by your own words, cant say huh ? !) ....I am an OCD'd (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) by birth ,,, at first it took me a while to find out what I was suffering from ,, well ...the world already had it before...thanks to some great people inventing it around...i even went to the extend of finding it a cure and I did ,,, but then I realised the simplicity of it all .... things that rare dont come that easy ,,,, give it a rest kiddo ...I slept it over.... All in all I am not that perfect.... far from it ....yea! God dAmn out of the country... weak,,, shattered...a loser...and many more....I used to regret, honestly ...! and honestly again I dont regret it any more...maybe I am used to it again like every other thing ...but still they have given me a chance to question WHY ??? they have given me time to inter-relate them...like a puzzle it is ...truly but it works best...when you just try ... I could stand on a podium so confident, I could have barked my hearts out, but my legs behind that wodden structure would always be shaking... I am a nervous kid....a child ...i never grew....perhaps I never wanted too....a little scared if you ask me ...terrified.... but then I am like every other person without legs (on a wheel chair or if he doesnt have one he just lies around ) who dreams to walk someday ..... but I am just a little different from that every other man ....i just dream a little different than others... I am a guy without limbs ( legs & hands / completely paralyzed if you wanna spice it up ! ) ...lets just say... i never dream of walking..... what I dream of is only FLYING .... for which you see I'd never have to walk to do .... I would rather believe in the idea of truth from a baby's eyes fascinating to that fact narrated to him/her ..commonly unacceptable ( or even talking bout it) ...rather than a meeting full of well cultured Managers, asking of reasonable answers to something much over your pay grade ! i believe in the idea of reverting back & looking up very once often to that sky ....no matter how stormy or cloudly it is....you can always see the sun .... I believe in the idea of T-shirts.....(and not shirts, although you might look cooler in that ) ....coz thats what you'd wear if you wanted too..... something you wore all your life & just because of a lazy professional deal you might just wanna change that... I am not a very avowed believer in SPEED.....but i always do it whenever I hit the road...it gives me a perception ...a clear view of being free.....from all the rationalism ....the fear... it makes me want to be complete at some point ...but the accelator gives out... it fails me just to that very inch ... a fact ...i have once been arrested... and not just by the traffic police ...you can see my track records of ...some sole accidents.... stupid ones too ....(so i had my 'hi's & 'hello's with them very often) ......but by an actual police guy....and lets just say it doesnt feel that bad... Anyway, what i am pointing too is.... a self-experience ... Failure is something that can rip your spirits apart, but then again ,,, it can always give you something which is rare ,, a gift of not appreciating ....a gift of carelessness ....something like....... 'who cares'... .....and you could do things which you couldnt in the first place... ...like..."what the hell can be more worse than this"....the confidence...the bones & balls of it all, ...n the price is simple....blunder your dreams....and fall an eternity ....now thats not great ..is it ?? ....when i have my dreams shattered ...( which is as common as the day breaks ).... i spend most of the times collecting the pieces....and rejoining them ....to shape better..... & still wanting to be perfect... which somewhere in my heart I know I cant be .... but still....... I still Dream.....and Dreams keep on piling in .....n i keep breaking on them ...... so I'd just say .... what the hell...what can be more worse than this ..... : ) : ) : ) ...voir moins